Lauren Sherman, 04.23.07, 12:01 AM ET
Watch out, working moms and dads.
With the weather getting warmer and kids flocking to jungle gyms and sandboxes, a nanny snatcher may be circling a playground near you.
What exactly is a nanny snatcher, you ask? It's a parent who will stop at nothing to provide the perfect caregiver for her child--even if it means stealing one from you. A nanny snatcher will march right up to your employee while she's playing with your kids in the park and offer everything from a doubled salary to souped-up health benefits.
One Manhattan mother remembers an incident on a Tribeca playground where another woman offered a nanny cash to make the switch immediately. That didn't go over too well; in response, the neighborhood moms shunned the poacher.
What gives?
Kathryn Webb, president of Sterling, Va.-based HomeWork Solutions, a leading payroll and tax service for employers of nannies and other domestic employers, says she has seen wage escalation within just the past 18 months, which she attributes to the intensifying competition for legal, English-speaking nannies.
As demand for this rare breed grows, so will the temptation to poach.
Stealing Away
Alexa, a Manhattan art gallery director, was a full-time nanny for three years in Washington, D.C., and then for one year in the Hamptons, while she worked toward her bachelor's and master's degrees from 2002 to 2006. She says that as a young, college-educated, Caucasian woman, she was hot property on the playground.
"I was highly sought-after," says Alexa, who asked to be identified by only her first name. "Parents saw how engaged I was with the children--most nannies sit on a bench and read; they don't really play with the kids."
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One brazen mother went so far as to offer her twice her hourly pay if she would pack up and switch families that coming weekend. Although Alexa declined this offer, along with several others, she says sometimes she wishes her loyalty to the children hadn't trumped her frustrations with their parents.
That loyalty is typical, say those in the industry.
"This is a work relationship like any other," says Pat Cascio, president of the International Nannies Association and owner of Morningside Nannies placement agency in Houston. "Nannies are very, very loyal and cannot be stolen if they feel respected and cared about. If they feel overworked and underpaid, they're going to look elsewhere."
Cascio emphasizes that most nannies, by nature, are sensitive caregivers, which tends to make them loyal. Often, they are parents themselves, supporting a family on their own.
"Parents need to take that into consideration [when finalizing salary and required hours]," says Cascio. "They need to walk in her shoes for a little bit."
Webb, of HomeWork Solutions, says there really isn't much empirical evidence available regarding nanny retention and salary, because a lot of payments are made under the table. However, from her 14 years of managing the taxes of parents who employee nannies, mostly in metro areas like Washington, D.C., New York and San Francisco, Webb estimates that the average term for a private child-care worker is one to one-and-a-half years.
Watch Her Back
A nanny is most susceptible to being stolen during her first three months of employment, says Webb, a time she calls "a make-or-break period."
If a nanny feels like she isn't being treated properly, she's more likely to leave the job earlier than later, to avoid forming a strong attachment with her charge.
Emily Dills, head of the Seattle Nanny Network, which was voted the best Seattle nanny agency by CitySearch.com for both 2006 and 2007, says that she adheres to particular rules when it comes to her own nanny.
First and foremost, she treats the nanny as a member of the family, not as an employee.
"She is the glue that binds our household," says Dills. "I maintain professional boundaries, but my nanny knows the value she brings to our family, and although hers is a role of service, we go out of our way to not treat her like a servant."
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Dills makes a concerted effort to include her nanny in all family celebrations and offers more than standard holidays and bonuses to show the family's appreciation. She's so confident in her nanny's loyalty that she recently offered to "loan her" part time to a friend who recently had a baby.
"It’s always in the back of my mind that one day she won't be here," says Dill, "and I proactively give her many reasons to stay."
Did Alexa's family make those same gestures? Not entirely.
"Sometimes I wish I had taken the rival offer!" she remarks. "I had a couple of situations where the parents did not keep an open line of communication," particularly regarding hours, salary and methods of discipline. "The very best thing [parents can do] is to be honest."
So forget those playground poachers if you can. Giving a nanny the respect she deserves is the easiest way to keep her under your roof.
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